Never Gone
by BeginAgain46
Summary: I forgive you…for thinking that I was ever gone. TATE
1. Part One

**Never Gone** by **saulalovin**  
A **NCIS** fan fiction

**Pairing:** Tony DiNozzo and Kate Todd  
**Summary:** "I forgive you…for thinking that I was ever gone."  
**Disclaimer:** You think Kate would be gone if I owned _NCIS_ and its characters? Damn straight she wouldn't be.  
**Spoilers:** "SWAK", "Twilight" and Season 3.  
**Author's Note:** I finally watched most of Season 3! (Well, until 03x09 "Frame Up", anyway.) And okay, I like Ziva, but she's not Kate. So here's my little Christmas present to all you Tate shippers out there. Hope you like it. (And no, I haven't totally abandoned _Back Here_ or the epilogue for _Can You Stand the Rain_ – I just haven't gotten around to writing them yet 'cause inspiration is taking its sweet time to hit. I appreciate the support. You guys rock!)

* * *

PART ONE

He stepped under the spray of water and flinched as the cold drops slid down his body. When the cold water didn't wake him up in the way he had hoped it would, he let out a sigh, shut off the water and leaned against the cool tile of the shower wall.

He, Tony DiNozzo, was a mess.

He had been one since late spring – since shehad been killed.

It was true, what he had told Paula Cassidy: that he dealt with it by not thinking about it. Her. Whatever – anything that was vaguely _related _to that day.

It had become a little routine for him – get up, go to work, pretend to be same old juvenile playboy Anthony DiNozzo, come home, stop acting.

He didn't like coming home. While it _was _exhausting to act like everything was just peachy, he felt that if he pretended hard enough, he could almost make _himself _believe that things were all right. At home, alone, without anything to distract him, thoughts and images and memories came to him uncontrollably.

Last night had been the worst so far.

Last night he had dreamt of her. It wasn't the fact that he had dreamt about her that bothered him, for he dreamt about her often, even before her death. It was what had happened in the dream that disturbed him.

_They were cuddled up together on his bed, talking, laughing and kissing. He was feeling intensely happy and content simply because she was in his arms, and she felt the same way as she reveled in warmth and safety he provided._

_She looked up at him and raised a hand to gently stroke his face. He nuzzled his nose into her palm and pressed a kiss into it. She laughed and looked at him tenderly, her eyes shining with love._

"_I missed you," he said softly._

"_I missed you, too," she whispered back. "And I forgive you."_

"_What? What for?" He frowned, trying to remember what he had done._

_She smiled at him somewhat sadly, tears in her eyes. "For thinking that I was ever gone."_

He had woken up in a cold sweat, his sheets all tangled up around his legs. The dream had been so real. For a fleeting moment he had searched for her, thinking she was in the room with him, before he remembered that she was gone.

Kate Todd was dead. She was gone, contrary to whatever his subconscious was telling him. He had seen how it happened – how she had jumped in front of the shot aimed at Gibbs, how that first bullet had gotten wedged in between the layers of the bulletproof vest, how she had never finished her sentence because the bullet had hit the back of her head and gone straight out through the front…

The images that came were too vivid, too real – he felt like he was reliving it again, the way he had so many times before in his dreams. He reached up to touch his face, and his heartbeat slowed a little when he saw that it was just water, not her blood.

Ari Haswari had not only killed Kate Todd with that one bullet. With that one bullet, he had killed a part of Tony DiNozzo as well. That one bullet had also killed whatever chance they had had to ever admitting their feelings to one another.

He had noticed that something new had been building up inside of him in the weeks before her death. There was a tenderness towards her that he had never felt before. He found his care and concern for her reaching levels that were more than what should exist between partners. Getting the plague had forced him to realize that he was falling in love with her.

He had been scared shitless. It was the first time he had ever felt this way towards a woman, and he knew with a chilling certainty that Gibbs would absolutely not approve of this. In fact, he was as good as _dead _if – no, _when_ – Gibbs found out. And, God, Gibbs aside – there was the rest of the team, and Kate herself.

Still, he had begun to suspect that Kate was feeling the same way towards him.

"_I can't believe you talked Brad into letting you sleep here," he said in a raspy voice, his eyes still closed._

_In the next bed, she smiled to herself. "Well, I couldn't leave you here by yourself, now could I? Who knows what you would've done to poor Nurse Emma."_

_Outside the isolation room, the young nurse chuckled quietly when she heard that. However, if her instincts were right – and they usually were – she was actually quite safe with this Tony DiNozzo, because he wasn't interested in her._

_Not with his pretty brunette partner inches away from him who was obviously smitten with him the same way he was with her._

_Assured that Tony would be all right if she left the two alone for a while, she cast one last knowing glance in their direction and exited quietly._

"_Oh, come on, Katie. In my condition? I don't think so."_

"_Like that's ever stopped you before," she shot back._

"_Ouch, Kate, _ouch_." As if on cue, a cough erupted from him, and he struggled to sit up._

_She was by his side in an instant, and she helped him sit up. She rubbed his back comfortingly and brushed the hair out of his eyes. He looked up at her and she stared into his eyes, unable to look away._

"_Thanks, Kate," he finally said simply._

"_Yeah, sure," she said, too aware of the fact that the mood in the room had shifted. Flustered, she turned to go back to her own bed, but his strong hand on her wrist held her back. He pulled her to him, and their faces were dangerously close. Her heartbeat began to quicken in pace, but she found herself wishing that he would just kiss her._

_And he did. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her gently. Feeling like her heart would explode, she kissed him back. Before it could get too heated, he pulled away and smiled at her. "Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams." _

They had never gotten the chance to talk about any of it – that kiss, their growing feelings, the possibility of exploring those feelings… Gone. The chance was gone.

_She _was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"See you Monday, Tony!" Abby called with an exuberant wave before getting into McGee's car. "Bye!"

Tony grinned, tipped an imaginary hat in their direction and got into his car. In an instant his smile faded and he shut his eyes tightly for a few seconds.

The workday was over. He had tried to put in some overtime, but there was nothing – no cases, no paperwork, nothing. Gibbs had even sent them home early. He had no choice but to go home.

He had acted happy that he had a free evening to spend with the woman of his choice. After announcing to the bullpen weeks ago that he had dumped Monica because he had found out she was married, he had bragged loudly about his trysts with several other women… But in truth, none of those women were real.

He hadn't dated or slept with anyone since before he had gotten sick with the plague.

With a sigh he started the engine and peeled out of the parking slot. He caught a glimpse of Ziva before turning the corner and couldn't help but feel a rush of resentment towards the former Mossad agent.

Almost immediately, he felt a twinge of guilt. It wasn't Ziva's fault. If she had come in as simply another agent, they wouldn't have treated her so coldly when she first started. But she had arrived at a time when wounds were still open and raw. Now, she wasn't so bad, but she was a constant reminder to everyone on the team of what – _whom_ – they had lost.

He wondered if any of the others were as affected as he was by Kate's death, and he realized that they all were, but in different ways. He knew that Gibbs still thought that her death was his fault (and when he was feeling extremely angry, he often thought that maybe it really _had_ been Gibbs's fault – but he would take it back quick enough, his cheeks burning with shame). McGee had looked up to her and seemed to work doubly hard now at solving cases – his way of making her proud. Abby had lost more than a colleague – she had lost her best friend, and her loyalty to Kate had never wavered, which explained her hostility towards Ziva. Ducky had seen Kate as a daughter, and he knew he missed having someone to tell stories to – someone who actually _listened_, that is.

Even Ziva was affected. She knew she had big shoes to fill, and he had to hand it to her, because she had stopped trying to fill them after the realization that no matter what she did, she would never really _be _Kate Todd. Not even close. So now, she was doing her own thing and being her own person, and they all liked her better that way.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter as a lump formed in his throat. Things had changed so much after her death. And for the nth time, he wished that everything could go back to the way it was before she died.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony slid his house key into the lock and turned the knob. He went inside, and with another weary sigh he took off his gloves, scarf and coat, tossed his keys onto the small table in the foyer, and walked into the living room.

He was startled to find someone sitting at his couch, and his hand instinctively went for his gun.

The person turned around to face him and smiled. "Hello, Tony."

"_Kate_?" he whispered hoarsely, sure that he was hallucinating.

He took an uncertain step towards her, and then another, and the next thing he knew, she was in his arms. He clung to her tightly, burying his face in her hair and breathing in her familiar scent.

A long while later he pulled back and just looks at her, his eyes raking over every little detail. Her hair was longer and she looked thinner than he remembered, but she was still beautiful and still _Kate_.

A shadow crossed over his face, and he took an uncertain step back. "Is that really…you?"

She smiled softly, her brown eyes glinting with unshed tears. "It's me, Tony. It's _really_ me."

"How? I mean, you _died_. Well, obviously, you didn't," he said, more to himself than to her. "What _happened_? Wait, how do I know you're _really _Kate Todd and not just some imposter?"

She was about to shoot an exasperated look his way when she realized that he was entitled to some proof, considering the odd circumstances. She thought for a second of something that only she and Tony knew. After some slight hesitation (would she seem too forward?), a blush that creeping up her cheeks, she leaned forward and gave him a loving kiss on the lips.

She had gone on for too long without this – without _him_.

Before she could pull away completely, his lips had reclaimed hers, and she let out a happy sigh before breaking the kiss and leaning her forehead against his.

"Convinced?" she managed to get out.

"Oh yeah." He grinned at her, and she grinned back, her cheeks flushed. He led her over to the couch and they both sat. "So…what happened?"

"It's a long story. So, uh… You know how Ari wanted to kill Gibbs, right? And the FBI, they didn't really know where his loyalties were or if he was just screwing with them the way he did with us. Some agents suspected that Ari might not kill Gibbs first – not literally, at least. Being the ahole that he is – " Tony reached out and took Kate's hands in his, in an attempt to keep them from shaking with rage " – he would have wanted to start by taking out people who were close to Gibbs first. Gibbs's family isn't really in the picture, so he would probably go with one of us." She swallowed hard. "They thought that I was the likeliest target. One night some Feds basically kidnapped me and brought me to their HQ. In one of the rooms there was this girl, and… God, Tony, she looked exactly like me. She was one of their agents and she was going to impersonate me, to see if their little theory was actually correct. If it wasn't, well then no harm done. But if it were, they told me that she would've been in a better place to deal, since she's trained in this kind of stuff, and…

We made the switch shortly before we – I mean, you guys – headed up on that rooftop. They didn't think he would've aimed for her head, Tony, but he did, and now she's _dead_. It could've – no, it _should've_ – been me, but it wasn't. Someone totally innocent died for me, Tony!" She was fully crying at this point, tears sliding down her cheeks, and he pulled her closer to him as she began to sob harder.

"I don't understand," she choked out, "why did they do this? Why would they deliberately put one of their people in danger? I'm no longer Secret Service – I'm just some NCIS agent. Why would they care?

It was so stupid – after you guys tracked down Ari and finally killed him, I thought it was okay, that I could go back and see you and Abby and Ducky and Gibbs and McGee, but they said to lay low for a while, because Ari had people here in the US, and apparently, before he died, he had begun to have suspicions that I wasn't really dead. It took _months_ for them to make sure his little cell here was disbanded. Last month I went back to Indiana and had a little reunion with my family. The looks on their faces…it was as though they had seen a ghost. And they _had _– they thought I was dead!" She looked at him, her face tearstained and eyes rimmed with red. "And of everything that happened, that was the kicker – the fact that this little number the FBI pulled had caused so much hurt to the people I love. They thought I was_ dead_, Tony! My poor parents… And _you_, and Gibbs, and Abby and Ducky and McGee – you thought I was dead, too!"

That brought on a new wave of tears. Kate reached up to use her fingers to wipe away the tears on her face, but he placed a gentle hand on her wrist and used his white handkerchief to dab away at them. At this tender gesture, she looked at him with an expression of surprise, and he quickly opened his mouth defensively. "Don't worry, it's clean. I swear."

In spite of herself, she laughed and whacked his upper arm lightly. "I wasn't – never mind." The realization of what she had just done suddenly dawned on her. "Oh, God – I'm sorry. I come here after being 'dead' for half a year, you ask what's going on, I end up blubbering like some pathetic idiot."

"Hey – I don't know about that last part," he said, his expression growing serious, "but none of this was your fault. Please don't blame yourself for any of it. The FBI should be the ones feeling guilty. It was all them, okay? You didn't have anything to do with it." When she didn't respond, he lifted her chin using his finger. "Hey, look at me. _None of this was your fault_. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"You must be starving – how about some dinner?" he asked, grinning. "How does Chinese sound?"

She opened her mouth to object – hadn't she imposed on him enough already? – but changed her mind at the tempting thought of spending more time with him. "You know what? Chinese sounds perfect."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I heard some things about you guys," Kate said, delicately picking up a piece of hot and sour shrimp between her chopsticks. "You got a new agent?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but the tinge of jealousy in her tone was evident, even to her.

Tony abandoned his attempt at trying to use chopsticks to look at her. "Yeah, Ziva – Ziva David. She was Mossad, and Ari was her half-brother. She killed him, Kate. Shot him in Gibbs's basement. And you don't have to be jealous of her – she's not your replacement. We don't think of her that way, anyway. Besides, we all knew that no one could replace you."

She smiled. "Had you guys gone soft while I was gone? I _like _this new mushy DiNozzo – is Gibbs like this, too?"

He made a face and used one of the chopsticks to spear a dumpling. "Don't count on it – unless he's around Director Shepard, that is."

"Are they…?" She raised her eyebrows.

"No, but I get the feeling they used to be _something_. The way he looks at her, and the way she looks at him… They've got some history there."

They ate quietly for a while, and after a while she finally looked at him. "I, uh, heard you were framed."

A shadow came across his face. "Yeah. He pretended to be Abby's lab assistant. He was _good_, Kate – he nearly got away with it all. He got his hands on my DNA, my teeth marks, even carpet from my car… Nearly killed Abby, too."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and caressed his cheek. "I wish I could've been there for you."

"You could be…from now on," he said, being perfectly serious.

"We never did have this conversation, did we," she said softly with a little half-smile.

"No, we didn't," he agreed. "I've missed you these past months."

"I've missed you, too," she said, her eyes never leaving his.

"When I thought you were dead…it was like a part of me had died with you. It sounds stupid, like just another one of those lines, but it's true. I would fall asleep every night wishing that I had just one more chance so I could tell you how I feel." He took both of her hands in his. "I never used to believe in love. I guess that's why I played around. But when I got sick, and you stayed there the whole time with me, it's like I finally got it. I finally started believing. I fell in love with you, Kate, and I fell hard. I was going to tell you, but then Ari came back, and then… It was too late. And now…here it is. Here's that chance I wanted."

He kissed her chastely on the lips. "I want you to know that I love you, Kate. And I hope you're going to give this relationship a try, even though I used to be this juvenile – " He was silenced by her lips on his, they kissed, not caring if the moo shu pork had spilled underneath them.

"I love you too, Tony," she murmured against his lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What happened here?" Kate asked, lovingly running a hand over a scar across his forehead as they lay in each other's arms on Tony's bed.

"Basically I was beat up," he recalled with a wince. "Ziva and I, we were working undercover as a pair of married assassins, and it didn't really go too well at the end."

"Married?" She hated how jealous she felt.

"Yes, _married_." He looked at her a moment, and then kissed her, pouring all of his feelings into the kiss. When he pulled away, she had a dazed, happy expression on her face. "And none of _that_, I felt for her, so don't worry, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry. I just…want you all to myself."

"You _do_, Kate." He brushed a light kiss on her forehead.

"So, tomorrow, when I go in… It'll be weird, won't it?"

"It will at first, but it'll be okay. You'll see. I mean, you can even tell Gibbs about the whole FBI thing."

"And have him kill every agent there? I don't think so. The US needs the FBI. …Much as I'd like to sic Gibbs on them."

"I would've wanted to see that, though."

"And us?"

"What aboutus?"

"We're going to be fine?"

"More than fine, Kate. I promise."

* * *

**AN:** That came out fluffier than I expected. Oh, well. (P.S. I'm not mad at the Feds. I just needed a reason for Kate to still be alive.) Reviews, please! 


	2. Part Two

PART TWO

"Are you ready?" Tony asked, breaking the silence as they sat in his car in the NCIS parking lot.

Kate turned to him and laughed shakily. "I was nervous meeting my family again, extremely nervous seeing you again… Shouldn't this be less terrifying?"

He reached over and squeezed her hand. "It's okay, Kate. Whenever you're ready."

A moment later, she took one last deep breath. "Let's go."

They got out of the car and she pulled out her NCIS ID, wondering if the computer would recognize that she was someone who was supposed to be dead once she placed it on the scanner.

"You think this thing still works?" she asked.

"I don't know. I don't think this kind of thing has ever happened to NCIS before – you know, an agent coming back to life."

"I didn't _die_, Tony," she corrected him testily.

He laughed. "I know. I'm just teasing. Relax, Kate."

She glared at him, but couldn't help the smile that broke across her face when she felt his hand at the small of her back. "You know, ever since we started this relationship thing, I haven't been able to stay mad at you."

"That's because you can't resist me," he explained mock-seriously, his tone similar to the one Ducky used when he was lecturing them, "and you can't risk getting mad at me because then you'd have to stay away from me, and you can't do that."

"Shut up, DiNozzo," she said, and lowered her voice, "or someone's not getting any – _ever_!"

His jaw dropped. "Wha – Kate, no, I'm…sorry?"

She stalked ahead of him, laughing silently to herself, and stopped abruptly when she realized she was inside the NCIS building. She stood in the lobby, frozen, and he laid a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

"Abby will be so excited to see you," he whispered in her ear. "She'll probably pounce on you the way she did me when I first came back to work after the whole plague thing."

Kate smiled, thinking about how great it would be to see her best friend again, and went over to the turnstiles for employees. She slid her ID over the scanner, and the red light simply blinked, the turnstile still refusing to budge. She looked at Tony, worry flashing in her brown eyes. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid. Now she had to go to the security office, and _everyone _would know in an instant that she was alive. People would begin to fuss over her, and rumors would begin to spread about how and why she was back.

She stepped back, allowing other employees to go through the turnstile, her hair covering her cheeks and most of her face. Their murmurs irritated her, and she tried to reign in this frustration as she cursed herself for ever going with the FBI's crap.

"Oh, let's just get this over with," she said with a sigh, and headed over to the security office. "Hi, I'm Special Agent Kate Todd. I kind of died, and because of this you rendered my ID invalid, but now I'm back - alive and kicking, thank you very much – and I would appreciate it if you issued me a new ID."

Tony and the officer on-duty could only stare at her for a few seconds, open-mouthed. With a soft chuckle, Tony looked at the bewildered petty officer. "Yeah, I can vouch for that. This is Special Agent Todd. She was – _is _– my partner."

Her cheeks reddened at the double meaning of the word, and judging by the grin on his face, Tony had realized it too.

"Um," the petty officer finally spoke up, "I'm afraid a new ID won't be available for at least another two hours. We have to check out your information, and – "

"- How about giving her a guest pass for now, and we'll just sort it all out with the director upstairs?" Tony suggested, cutting him off. The expression on Kate's face was a mix of worry and frustration and impatience, and it was catching on to him.

"We'll need another ID card from you," the petty officer said to Kate, an expression of utter confusion still on his face.

She handed him her driver's license and he forked over a laminated guest pass. Tony led her to an elevator, and they held hands as it went up. With a soft _ding_, it announced their arrival on the correct floor, and before the metal doors slid open, he glanced over at her. "Ready?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The bullpen was empty, much to their surprise. Tony set down his stuff at his desk and checked a Post-It stuck on his computer. "They're at Abby's lab."

He found Kate staring with an expression that could only be longing around the bullpen. She hesitated by her desk and abruptly turned to him and his desk. "Still a slob, I see," she joked uneasily.

He couldn't come up with a proper retort, so he contented himself with sticking his tongue out at her.

"You know, I wasn't gone _that _long," she said, a genuine smile lighting up her features, "and you've gone rusty. Poor thing." She patted his cheek sympathetically.

Before he could say anything, she looked up at him, all traces of humor gone from her face. "Do you…do you think Gibbs will give me my job back?"

"Technically, you never lost it," he pointed out mildly. "But I'm sure he'll let you back on. You're a great agent."

She smiled. "Thanks, Tony."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"All right, Abs, talk to me," Gibbs said, coffee cup in hand. He stared at the plasma and waited expectantly.

Abby took a huge slurp of Caf-Pow. "Okay, so I was at the store yesterday? And this lady, she – " She fell silent when Gibbs turned around and shot a warning glance her way. Her brow furrowed when she realized Gibbs wasn't turning back to the plasma. "Uh…Gibbs? I'm going to talk, I promise." When he still didn't budge, she swiveled her chair around to see what he was staring at, and her jaw dropped. "Oh, my God…"

Kate smiled a little shyly. "Uh, hi everyone."

McGee and Ziva had looked over too, and McGee wore an expression of happy shock on his face while Ziva's was of curiosity and calculation.

"Kate!" Abby burst out. Exactly as Tony had predicted, she launched herself at Kate and gave her a huge hug. "_OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod_!"

She hugged Abby back, tears streaming down both their faces.

"My mascara just ran, didn't it?" Abby asked after pulling away slightly.

Black streaks ran down her cheeks, and Kate couldn't hold her laughter in. "Yeah, it did, but you still look great. I've missed you, Abs."

"I've missed you too! Do you know what it's like to have just Gibbs, Tony and McGee around all the time?"

Ziva tensed and made a move towards the door. Kate stepped in her path before she had a chance to.

"Hey," she said with a warm smile. "You must be Ziva. I've heard so much about you. I'm Kate Todd. Call me Kate." She held out her hand.

The former Mossad agent warily searched Kate's eyes first for any sign of deception, but found only a genuine openness. After a slight hesitation, she smiled back and shook Kate's hand. "It's nice to meet you, Kate. I thought you were…" Her voice trailed off, and her cheeks reddened. "I'm sorry, I – "

"- No, it's fine," Kate interjected. "I'm not dead. I never was."

"Kate!" McGee exclaimed jubilantly from behind Ziva. "You're here, you're alive! This is incredible!"

"Hey, McGee," she said, giving him a warm hug. "Tony been giving you a hard time?"

Behind Kate, Tony narrowed his eyes at him and shook his head vehemently.

"Um…ah…no, not at all," McGee stammered out.

"You're still a terrible liar, Tim," she said, laughing. She looked past him. "Hey, Gibbs."

Gibbs smiled. "Kate. Long time no see."

"Oh, come here," she said, and they hugged.

"Boss, that's not fair. When I came back to work after a plague, you never hugged me – _ow_," he said, wincing, after Gibbs delivered a sharp slap to his head. "Forget I said anything."

"So what _happened_?" Abby asked. "Something hinky must've been going on for you to pretend to be _dead_."

"Yeah, it's kind of…complicated. But you're working a case, aren't you? Maybe this can wait." She cast an uncertain look in Gibbs's direction, unsure of where she stood as a member of his team. Whatever she was, she still respected the silver-haired ex-Marine, and was determined to show that respect.

"Oh come on Gibbs, _please_? Aren't you even the least bit curious?" Abby said pleadingly, waving her Caf-Pow to stress her point. A few drops of brown liquid came out of the straw and landed at Gibbs's feet. "Whoops."

They all looked at him. Even Ziva looked interested.

"All right," he said with a sigh. "Fifteen minutes, Special Agent Todd."

She had opened her mouth to speak, but realizing what Gibbs had called her made her stop. "Wait, what did you just call me?"

"_Special Agent Todd_," he repeated slowly, as if she were deaf. "Did wherever you disappeared off to impair your hearing or something?"

"No, I just…you mean I still have my job?"

"Well, you didn't quit, did you? Or would you like me to fire you?" Behind the harsh tone, Gibbs's blue eyes twinkled, and she grinned, relieved.

"No, no, I'm good," she said. "Okay, so – "

Before she could continue, Ducky came through the doors. "Jethro, there you are, I've been – " He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Kate. "C-Caitlin? Is that really you, or have I finally gone senile?"

She laughed. "It's me. Hey, Ducky." She stepped into his embrace and smiled at the ME. "Have fun doing 'my' autopsy?"

"Well not that you've mentioned it, Caitlin, _no_. I knew something was off," he said. "What brings you back to the land of the living, my dear?"

"Actually, I was just about to explain that."

"Well, carry on, you do the story-telling for once. Perhaps people will listen to you and not interrupt," Ducky said good-naturedly.

Slowly she told them the whole story, pausing every so often to swallow her tears – it certainly wasn't any easier or any less emotional than the first two times. The look in Tony's eyes a few feet away gave her strength to finish, and at last she fell silent, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Fornell," Gibbs growled out before heading out of Abby's lab.

"Uh-oh," Tony commented. "Guess Fornell's going to die for real this time. They do have a thing for faking deaths, don't they?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Conference room," Gibbs said curtly as soon as Fornell arrived.

Fornell rolled his eyes and followed Gibbs into the elevator. Gibbs hit the switch and they stood there, plunged in darkness.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gibbs asked angrily.

"Tell you what?" Fornell asked cautiously, not quite sure what he was talking about.

"Dammit, Fornell, don't give me this shit! Agent Todd – she's alive, and it's all the FBI's doing. What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

Fornell swallowed. He had seen Gibbs angry before, but never _this _angry. "I…it wasn't my place to."

"'_Wasn't your place to_'? She is _my_ agent – or have you forgotten that? Of all the stupid stunts the FBI has pulled, this takes the cake."

"I – "

"- I'm not finished, Tobias. How could you let one of your own die, too? Did she _know _what she was getting herself into? Or did you have her follow orders blindly, like you did with Agent Todd? And dammit, you had no right to do what you did to Agent Todd, considering she's a NCIS agent, _not_ FBI." Gibbs stood there, breathing heavily, glaring at Fornell.

"Jethro, it wasn't my decision. The FBI…the others felt that since it was our fault for bringing Ari into this whole thing, we were going to take responsibility for it."

"By deliberately killing one of your own, is that it?"

"No! She wasn't supposed to die – Special Agent Curtis was a fine agent. Specially trained, at that. We thought she could handle it. Save one of your own agents in the process, too."

"You should have told me. You went about this the wrong way."

"We know, and – " Fornell sighed. "We can't change anything now, Jethro. The past is past. But if I could, I would change what happened, all right?"

Gibbs leaned against a metal wall of the elevator. "Are you sure he's gone? Every trace of him? All of his associates, henchmen, _whatever_…gone?" he asked, his voice much quieter.

"Gone," Fornell confirmed. "You have my word."

"Yes, and we all know how reliable _that's_ been," Gibbs retorted sarcastically.

"Jethro, we are truly sorry for everything that's happened."

"Have your director call my director." Gibbs flipped the switch and stalked out of the elevator.

"Jesus," Fornell muttered. He tugged at his coat and exited the elevator.

"Fornell," Kate said pleasantly as he passed.

"I thought you were dead," he commented, stopping.

"Got better," she deadpanned.

He narrowed his eyes at her and left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Kate, wait!"

She turned and saw Ziva coming towards her, and stopped for her to catch up. "Ziva."

"Can we…talk? In private?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, sure. Um…in here."

They slipped into an unoccupied interrogation room and Kate looked at her expectantly. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I…I hope my presence at NCIS doesn't…bother you."

"No, it's fine," Kate said quickly. "Totally fine. In fact, I've always wanted another girl out on the field with me. I can't handle Gibbs, McGee and Tony all by myself _all_ the time."

They both laughed.

"I'm glad," Ziva said, smiling. "You know, they…they missed you a lot when they thought you were dead."

"Yeah, I missed them too."

"They missed you so much that they didn't really accept me at first, and I just… I would understand if you would have wanted me gone, that's all."

"You're a great agent, Ziva. Tony told me so. And I'm sure Abby will warm up to you now."

"I'll move out of your desk. I know you miss it, and that you want to stay close to Tony."

Her cheeks turned scarlet. "What? I mean, I miss it, but I'm not so sure about that last part."

Ziva laughed. "It's okay, Kate. I know you like him more than a friend. I can see it every time you look at him. And I know he feels the same way, because when I first met him, he was – how do you say it – _daydreaming_ about you. Oh, I found your sketchbook, too – the many drawings gave it away."

"Okay, you got me," Kate admitted, "but don't tell Gibbs."

"Are you kidding? The man already knows."

Kate winced. "Great. I hope he doesn't fire us over this."

"He won't," she said with a confident smile. "Don't worry. Oh, and nothing happened between me and Tony during the undercover thing. He was still very much in love with you then, and he still is now."

There was a moment of silence, and Kate reached out, and much to Ziva's surprise, gave her a hug. "Thank you, Ziva."

"You're welcome."

"And Ziva?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad we're on the same team."

**THE END**

* * *

**AN:** Did anyone get the exchange between Kate and Fornell, the whole "got better" thing? I know this was only supposed to be a oneshot, but I was reading your reviews (which were awesome, by the way) and they made me realize that I still had plenty of stuff to go on. I know there are loopholes (like the medal Kate got, the funeral, et cetera) but ignore them, because I don't feel like cooking up an explanation for them. :) Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and have a happy, happy New Year. 


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